Unfortunate signs

Move Road Trip Day Two

These are all from real live billboards seen driving through New Mexico:

FIREWORKS!
Worldwide
Pyro
Headquarters

BBQ! Certified Angus!
Burgers Steaks Mexican

Vasectomy Reversal
Microsurgery guaranteed

Roadkill Apparel
Buffet - $7.99

Watching the sun rise over the Arizona desert was truly spectacular. We drove through the night, Dad and I taking turns sleeping. There was a bit of scary weather through western Arizona, driving through a lightening storm. Thank god I slept through most of it, but the forks and flashes I did see were stunning.



Most of Arizona was moon-lit desert. Even through the storm clouds, the moon lit up the sky with silver, throwing the rocks and bluffs into stark relief. The sun came up, looking at first like the light of a distant city, the turning the sky shades of turquoise and teal before becoming pink and gold. Watching the dawn put on her morning colors is rather miraculous, there are no other words for it.

In less natural wonders, Albuquerque has the most beautiful freeway interchange I have ever seen. You would think that a freeway interchange would be, in all places, hideous, but this one was actually really lovely to look at. They had made the whole thing out of sandstone colored cement and trimmed it with turquoise. The turquoise stood out against the sandstone like narrow ribbons of light almost. They had done some nice little detailing at the ends of the spans, to give the whole thing a Southwest flair. Very nice. If only cities the world over paid attention to things like having attractive freeway interchanges, the highway system here would be a much nicer experience.

The rest of New Mexico was fairly uneventful. The cat still refused to get out her box when we stopped, but seemed to be doing just fine. I fell asleep again, and woke up in Texas. A flatter place I have never seen in my life. It's beautiful though, in a huge, flat, open kind of way. Everything just seemed so big. I understand now why we Americans have such a hard time with scale. With so much open space, and 300 miles between each waypoint on this trip, it's no wonder.

Anyhow, we got hungry and stopped for some real Texas BBQ in Amarillo. Oh. My. Gawd. Yummy does not ever begin to cover it. California may have Happy Cows, but Texas has Tasty Cows. I've developed a whole new appreciation for BBQ and this sweet tea thing.

Amarillo was our first major waypoint, and since we got there in just about 24 hours and still had plenty of day light and energy left, we pushed on to Oklahoma. Here is another truly beautiful state, but it kind of looks like a giant golf course. I've never been through real grasslands before, so the gently rolling hills and greenery look like nothing more than a somewhat overgrown golf course to me. It's lovely though and quite pleasant to drive through.

We finally checked in to the AmeriSuites in Midwest City around 8 I think. Time is getting to be a very vague and confused sort of thing. I honestly have no clue what time people here think it is. The clock in the truck is set to Virginia time, my watch thinks it's still in California, and what with spotty adoption of daylight savings time, I had no idea when it was through most of Arizona. Now I'm just hopelessly confused.

At least the cat has come out of her crate and eaten something. I was starting to get a bit worried. She's been very well behaved so far, but I still worry.

Anyhow, I'm getting exhausted and am having a hell of a time uploading any of the pictures I took. Windows sucks is all I have to say about it. It would figure the one time I manage to get the camera, the cable, and a laptop all in the same place I can't get FTP to work for whatever reason. I am determined though, and will upload pictures as soon as I can. Even if it kills me.

Edited to say that I got the FTP problem worked out and am adding in pictures for the last two posts. yay! It's about time.

Keep you eyes on the road and your hands upon the wheel…

Move Road Trip Day one

I’m writing from the cab on a 17 foot moving van speeding through the Mojave desert. It’s dark, it’s cool, the air smells of rain and heat, and we are our own small pocket of East Coast time in California. I can hardly wait to cross the state line, and really feel like I am underway.

Loading the truck went surprisingly well. For some reason the whole process seemed very easy, compared to my last moves. Everything was pretty well packed and ready to go by the time Dad got there with the truck, so it was all just a matter of working out an arrangement of boxes and furniture that would fit. Just like a big game of Tetris. We got it all in though, with a bit of room to spare even, and the only thing I forgot (that I know of anyway) is my bag of snacks pilfered from the office. I am mourning the loss of my chocolate covered espresso beans, but I’ll find a way to move on without them. I think.

Here you can see the heap of crap that I donated to the stupid Salvation Army.



And here is my living room just before the truck showed up:



Anyhow, we left the city at about 1 pm, after grabbing lunch at the corner taqueria and making a not-so-quick stop by the post office to pick up my package of Ubuntu Cds and fill out a change of address card. I am bribing people to help unload with beer and linux ISOs. I really am a huge geek.

Traffic sucked. I will not miss crap bay area traffic. We saw three separate accidents before getting out of Hayward. Truly sad, especially for a Saturday. Getting to I5 felt pretty good though. It’s hot in the central valley, not really humid but man was it ever warm when we got out of the truck! One of the best things to do when driving down the highway is look at other cars. Of course, it’s the only thing to do, aside from play with the iPod, in most cases. We saw a semi towing another semi cab, which was very strange. It’s vaguely unsettling to find yourself facing down the front end of a semi truck while going 70mph down a highway. Never mind the weirdness that results from a convoy of no less than 10 identical school busses in perfect convoy formation passing the strange backwards semi towing thing. Very odd. If ever the government takes to uses a fleet of school busses as a “secret” convoy, I will be very afraid. Not exactly subtle.

By the time we got to Wasco, huge thunderheads had formed over the mountains. Very huge. They looked beautiful, rising up at the end of a long stretch of road, but somewhat intimidating after we found out that there were thunderstorms and flash flood warnings for the area ahead of us when we stopped for coffee in Wasco (not even at a Starbucks, I am proud to report). Eep. By the time we got to Tehachapi, the storm was in full force. We pretty much drove through sheets of water for what could only been about 5 or 10 minutes, but feel like a small eternity. Poor Dad was freaking out. I was driving, which always seems to make him nervous, and he hates driving in the pouring rain. Not that I blame him. The first memory I have of that kind of rain was a trip he and I took to LA when I was a kid. It was dumping down rain on Sunset Blvd, and Dad lost control of the car. We spun across 3 lanes of traffic and ended up with the nose of the car stuck in a shrub. Somehow, we didn’t hit anyone and the car wasn’t damaged, but neither of us has ever dealt well with that kind of rain ever since.



After the rain, we came down in to the desert. The desert after rain is an amazing thing. Fresh, clean, and glowing. The sun was just beginning to set as we came over the mountains, casting a golden glow everything, and bringing up all of the variations of green and pink and gold. It’s a magical thing, all the colors and the smell of rain on warm air, with the sun setting in flurry of pink and gold clouds.



We’re planning to push on through the night so we get through most of the desert when it’s cool. Probably a good plan, seeing as it’s July and all, but part of me regrets not being able to watch as the desert changes and passes by. We just got through the horrible stink field before Barstow, I can only imagine how awful that smell would be during the heat of the day. So really, it’s all for the best.

So far, the cat is doing very well. She was not at all happy when we tried to give her her Xanax, I’ve never seen a cat produce that much drool in my life. She must have gotten some into her system though, I was able to put her in the crate with no trouble at all about 20 minutes latter. She meowed a few times, but settled down quickly, and has been quite since. I did try to let her out when we stopped in Mojave, but she refused to come out of the crate. She took a few steps out, tried to go under the truck (thank god we have her on a leash), then bolted right back into the crate where she arranged herself like the Queen of Sheba and seems perfectly content to stay. Probably this is all a very good thing.

The further East I get, the calmer I feel. I still have a lot to do to get through this move, but the end is finally in site, and getting closer by the minute (of course, we just passed a sign that said “Washing DC 2553 miles”, which seems a bit daunting), and so much opportunity is waiting for me. I know it won’t be without its struggles, but there is so much hope there, so much promise.

Here we have Dad doing his impression of a long-haul truck driver:

Another fiber-free day

Why do I never seem to have my camera and my camera cable in the same place at the same time? I found the damned cable, it was in work laptop bag, but now I have left the camera someplace amid the rubbish heap that I will no longer call home as of some time no latter than noon tomorrow.

[Insert imaginary photos of a huge pile of boxes and a heap of rubbish waiting for the *$&%! Salvation Army pick-up jerk]

Anyway...as I have not had any time to knit in the last week, this post will be all about moving and my crazy head. Fiber content will have to wait a bit. Though I am very much looking forward to getting my wheel and loom set up again once I move.

My project team, well, most of it anyway, took me out to lunch yesterday. We went to a really amazingly good Indian buffet someplace in Palo Alto. Yum. I haven't had good, or even decent, curry in a really long time. I'm hoping that I can either find a really good (and cheap) Indian restaurant someplace in Williamsburg or an Indian grocery. If not, it's going to be a lot of trips to New York and calls to spice pushers in other states to get things shipped out. A life without good curry is a life half lived (to grossly misappropriate a Baz Lerhmann movie tag line). Lunch was nice, and it was good to see everyone at the same table, but I flat out refused to give a speech. I would have burst into tears and blurted out all kinds of inane “I really love you guys” sorts of drivel, and that just won't do. The truth is, I really *do* love these guys, and I really will miss them, and that I am leaving my project team behind is about the only thing I think I would cry over at this point.

After lunch, I completely failed to get back to work. Someone was having his interview, and I was too exhausted and too nervous on his behalf to focus on anything, except playing with the doggies. So once he got done making a (hopefully) stunning impression on everyone, we left. We ended up falling asleep back at the hotel, and didn't get up to the city until almost 9, but it was ok. Dinner was amazingly good, we got to sit in The Boss Guys private booth, Someone thoroughly enjoyed the whole thing, and after a bit of a walk around Northbeach and a very chaste (read: purchase free) visit to City Lites, we went back to my place.

All I have to say about that is, thank god the cat liked him, and thank god he didn't run screaming from the massive heap that I sleep in these days.

It really was the perfect last night out in the city, the moon was full and huge, and having in the sky just along side the Trans America building when we pulled in to a parking spot on the very same block as the restaurant. It wasn't too cold, the fog was away bothering some other part of the city, the real freaks and weirdos were someplace else, and everything was perfect. Except that Someone had to go back to NY this morning, even that was perfect. I'll see him again in a few days, on the other side of the country, when I get home.

Somehow, thinking of a house I have never seem as Home doesn't seem strange or scary to me anymore. Being a bit actor in my own life does though, and that's kind how I've felt these last few weeks. Of course, it's not my life anymore. My life is out there, not here. Why I am so concerned about things here and how I leave them is beyond me.

And I don't understand why I'm feeling so sad today. I'm tired and didn't get enough sleep that last couple nights, but that's not enough to make me so sad. I had two lovely nights, that kind that leave you feeling like you can fly, so I shouldn't be so sad today. But I am. Somehow, I feel profoundly neglected, like nothing I have done here has really mattered. I am going home tonight, and I'm doing laundry alone, and sleeping on the futon, and that's it. No good-bye parties, no night out, just one person who may stop by latter in the evening. So much for going out with a bang.

A day like no other

What a lovely evening! It was not without it bumps, and involved a lot of cursing and general annoyance with airports and air travel in general, but in the end everything worked out swimmingly well.

I worked from home yesterday, partly because I knew I would be too jumpy to sit still at the office for more then 5 minutes at a time, but mostly to wait for the salvation army pick up people to come take away my heap of junk I don't want. Now there are several things that I find annoying about how this thing worked itself out. 1 – My neighbors/passers-by took about half the stuff that was left out. Which means that they not only took stuff from a charity, but also that I can't claim it as a tax write off. 2 – they wouldn't take my dresser. My mom has been hassling me about this dresser for the last two months. She says it is crap and I should chuck it and get a new one. She has a bit of a point, but considering that I'm now $40k in the hole for just one year of school, buying a new one is not that practical a thing. Anyway, long story short I finally convinced myself to chuck the damned thing, and the Salvation Army won't take it. That's right, it's too big a piece of crap for even them to take. Nice. Since when does the Salvation Army fancy itself the Antiques Roadshow?

So after I got done with work, I went and had a lovely farewell dinner with some OES and Rainbow friends. It was so nice to see them all once more before I left. Dinner was fantastic too. I couldn't have asked for a better send-off from a better group of friends. Family really. A family I am really going to miss in a very profound way.

After dinner, the Great Wednesday Event took place. Ohmygod. I've been having a hard time deciding how much, if anything, I should post about this for quite awhile. I guess the short version is that I met someone on-line awhile ago, and last night, I Met that Someone in real life. I haven't felt like this is a very long time...if I ever did. And he's on the right coast. Not only did I get my first, real, physical contact with my new life, but I think I found something really special. For the first time, last night I wasn't even the least bit nervous about this move or being all alone.

It's funny, after I met with my knitting group for the last time on Sunday, this guy who does tarot readings at the bookstore we meet at gave me a reading as a going away gift. It was fairly tremendous, and really dead-on accurate about all the things that currently are. As far as those things to come, he said my life was out there, waiting for me, and that Someone was there, waiting for me, too. There were a lot of specific details about that Someone. This person would be instrumental in my efforts to make a home for myself, a real home, there, and would help me build my life there. And now, Someone really is there waiting for me, and it feels more right and comfortable than I can find words to explain.

Serious butterflies

I am jumping out of my skin. So nervous. Or maybe excited, I'm not exactly anxious about tonight, somehow I know it'll be ok, wonderful even, but I'm still practically jumping out of my skin and the butterflies in my stomach have gone into overdrive. At least I'm able to work from home today, that helps with the inability to sit still.

Anyway, the pile of crap for goodwill is sitting outside, waiting for them to show up, and my stupid neighbors are slowly stealing everything. Very annoying. Not that I mind the stuff going away, I don't care where it ends up really, but I was kind of looking forward to getting the tax write-off for the pile of stuff. Oh well. At least I tried. If only the IRS gave you credit for that.

No luck on the knitting last night. I figure I should be able to knit while I'm on the road at least, that's something.

And very little progress on Harry Potter. I can't quite believe that I am really too excited/nervous/jumpy to read Harry Potter. This is a shameful thing.

Queen of the Geek People

I'm feeling very stressed out this week. Work is tense and strange, they are pushing things into our production environment without consulting me and the wondering why there are huge bugs in production, the moving plans are looming, and tomorrow promises to be exciting but I'm getting nervous about that too.

And I am waiting for my life to start. It's there, waiting for me to get there, and I'm stuck here wondering. The more time I have to think, the more distance there is between me and the future, the harder it is to not slip into an insane thought spiral and start to panic. I keep chanting “I must not fear, fear is the mind-killer, fear is the little death that brings total obliteration...” like some kind of super-geek but it helps. As someone told me recently, good insight is good insight. I am apparently the Queen of the Geek People, or at the very least some sort of high geek-priestess. Oh well. Whatever helps get you through the day, right?

So the plan for tonight is to work. Lots and lots of work, and some rooting through the basement to get everything ready for good will to pick up in the morning. Tomorrow is the great Wednesday Event, Thursday I am having a nice evening out and going to Cafe Coppola, and Friday I do the last bits of washing up, put tape on the last boxes, sleep on the futon, and then I go.

If I am lucky, I will be able to indulge in some therapeutic knitting tonight. I think I'm going to need it. Or at the very least, I can read some Harry Potter. It's a sad testament to how woefully distracted I have been that I have had this book since Sunday and am only on page 179.

5 days and counting

I still have not uploaded pictures of the alpacas from the 4th of July weekend. At least now I have the very good excuse that I've packed almost everything, and can't figure out what I did with the camera cable again. I think I know where it is though. With any luck, I'll have things to upload soon.

I did manage to figure out the wedding gift knitting dilemma though. I've gone back to the original plan, which was to make a nice bead-knit purse for my future sister-in-law. Her dress is not white, and is all lace, so the ivory wool lace shawl was just not going to work. The lace itself is more of a champagne color and the silk under is almost taupe. So the bad I'm knitting has really neat taupe beads with a salmon sort of colored thread. It sounds strange, but it's very pretty and will look really nice with the dress and with the colors she's picked out for the wedding decorations. Plus it should go fast. I only have to knit 16 stitches a row, the rest of it's all beads. Hurray!

Packing is going quite well. All my cloths and costumes are ready to get put in wardrobe boxes when those show up, and pretty much all I have left to pack is stuff I need for the rest of the week. It's a bit sad, to have a life reduced to a box pile, but there it is. The nice Salvation Army folks are coming out on Wednesday to pick up a bunch of stuff, so I have to spend the next two evenings re-packing up all the stuff I'm getting rid of. What fun.

Wednesday...yeah that's going to be an interesting day. I've it worked out so I can work from home to deal with the pick up people, then I'm having dinner with a bunch of people and after that...well...more about that latter. I'm sorry to mysterious, but there it is.

Sno Cone anyone?

My god. I feel like I work in a circus. Literally. We had the annual company picnic today and they had set up, and I kid you not, an entire carnival in the park next to the campus. Rides, a ferris wheel, a contortionist, 2 bands, food, the works. Even carnival games and prizes and a jail you could get your picture taken in. It's days like this that make me wonder if I'm living in a dream. Very surreal. To say the least.

They even had a tricycle race course and a water balloon launching area where you could get into huge water balloon fights with large sling-shots. I don't think I've had that much fun in a long time. Of course, I got back to my desk totally dripping wet and looking like a drowned rat, but oh well. It was fun, and I think the whole team needed to blow off some serious steam.

Of course, it's the one day I haven't got my camera...the whole thing was just too unreal, even walking through it all.

Now, I am tired. But M doesn't want to leave for this weird dinner thing until 7, so I am trying to stay awake long enough to actually leave whenever he's ready and be reasonably witting and charming in the car after hopefully appropriating some empty boxes I can use for the last bits of packing.

In spite of the carnival/circus like day, I managed to get a lot of work done. I got on to some kind of roll with the writing up of current processes and test environments last night and this morning, and just had to reformat everything and get it up on to the right web sites. I'm trying really hard to get as much done this week as I can so I will have as much free time next week as possible. A friend of mine from back east has an interview out here and I want to be able to spend as much time with him as I can, between the work and the packing and the mad round of farewell social engagements. It's going to be an exhausting week next week...

Someplace really special?

Still feeling rather a dull girl... Between work and packing, I sort of have no life these days and very little time for knitting or any sort of fiber content. All I’ve managed to carve out time for is making the really and truly last hideous dress for a rainbow client. I’m just glad to finally put that phase of life behind me. Of course, who knows, I may end up doing piece work for Civil or Revolutionary war re-enactors when I get to Virginia. Who knows? At least it will be something a little bit different (and less ugly!).

I’m feeling a bit strange about leaving work. Things are tense right now, to say the least. I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed by all I have to get done and my boss is getting a little hysterical and the engineers are getting worried, so it’s not helping much. Oh well. If I can just get through next week with a reasonable list of things to do, I should be able to get it all knocked out while I’m in New York.

Of course, the good thing about all of this is that I have not really had time to start panicking or worrying about the move itself. I’m actually looking forward to it. It seems like a relaxing prospect compared to the last few weeks.

The laptop issue has raises its ugly head again though. Since I won’t be doing any work for work during the semester, I’m going to have give George (I had to call it something after all) back, leaving me with the sad POiS iBook. Going back to having no wireless and such a damn slow machine sounds pretty unbearable. But I’ll figure something out. These things always seem to work themselves out.

Tomorrow night I’m supposed to have dinner in the city with M. I haven’t really spent any time with him since he chucked me. He said to pick “someplace really special” for tomorrow. What the hell? First he dumps me, then he starts bringing me sweet little presents, now I’m supposed to select “someplace really special” for out last dinner together and he’s bringing me moving boxes? I do not get this guy at all. Oh well. No point in wasting precious brain cycles trying to figure it out.

Such a dull girl

I've been having a hard time thinking up things to post about. Between packing and work, I haven't been doing much of anything actually interesting. I did find an interesting link about Saint Blaise, poor guy. But what on earth do goiters have to do with wool combing I would like to know?

I did manage to finish the cart for the Orenburg shawl I was planning to give to my brothers fiance. But I saw her dress over the holiday weekend and I really don't think this shawl is going to work with it at all. Now I'm torn. Do I finish the shawl, knowing it won't get used for the wedding, or start a new project? I had originally thought I would make her a bead-knit purse. This idea is sounding better and better the more I think about it. Better yet, I haven't packed up all the beads and pearl cotton I have for bead=knit bags, so I should be able to find something in the stash that will work for the color of her dress.

Someday I promise I will post pictures. Work has been so busy, and I've been so focused on packing otherwise I just haven't have found a spare moment to download them from my camera.

Finally home!

I am ever so glad to be home after the long weekend. Visiting my parents is usually a good thing, and this was, in it’s way, but everyone at home seems to be in a mad panic about my move and none of them are willing to talk about it. As if it’s not hard enough as it is without this weird unspoken angst thing going on. I’m not dying for crapsake. Just going to law school. And it’s not like I’d see them much more if I were going to school here.

Anyhow, it is a fairly uneventful trip home. I got to visit my new alpaca fleeces, which are huge and lovely! I have enough fleece there to make several large projects. No idea yet what I’m going to do with it all though. It’s got a nice long staple, so I should be able to make a real worsted yarn, assuming I get this wool combing business figured out. I’ve tried carding alpaca and llama in the past and it was a huge mess. Fiber flying all over the place, VM and little noils getting impossibly stuck in the cards. So I visited my favorite spinning supplier, Village Spinning and Weaving (www.villagespinweave.com) and picked up some big scary wool combs to make proper sliver out of the alpaca with.

Holy crap, these are truly frightening looking things. You could down a bear with these things. It turns out there was an early bishop martyred with wool combs, who is now the patron saint or what have you of the wool combers guild. Go figure. These buggers are seriously lethal. I live in terror of actually trying to use them, but I’m sure if I can get over the giant meat hook I use to doff batts off the drum carder I can get over these monster claw things. Once I have a better understanding of how to use them that is. It’s all a bit mystifying. Given the high likelihood of sustaining a major injury of you make a mistake, it’s also a little intimidating. Any tips? I did pick up on the one book in print on wool combing and worsted spinning, but it doesn’t really address the style of combs I have (I got 2-row valkry hand combs with a holder thing that can be attached to a work bench).

Wireless is sucking on the bus this morning too. Too many dipshits trying to access yahoo or some other crappy ad intensive site hogging the meager bandwidth to let of us with actual work to do make use of the system. Not that I’m bitter, just generally opposed to the worthless masses of humanity who keep getting in my way. Hmmm…if only I had my new wool combs to wave around…

Pictures of cute alpacas and my scary wool combs are coming as soon as I can find the cable for my camera. Eep.

Insanity reigns supreme

Why must the week after a relaxing mini-break always be one of stress-inducing madness? It seems somehow wrong. But there it is.

Work has been nuts this week. So much to do, not enough time to do it in, and everyone else has finally developed a sense of urgency as far as my leaving goes. Nice timing. But oh well. At least they finally got me a laptop so I can work from home and on the shuttle bus. Hurray for more productive hours! Of course, this means my sad workaholic geek tendencies are being enable in the extreme but whatever, at least the work will get done.

Anyway, I’ve been working in bits and pieces on the new orenburg shawl. I got the bottom boarder done over the weekend, and had to rip back the first few rows of the body because I had made a mistake in charting on another on the corner section which was driving me nuts. No huge deal though, I only ripped a few rows and things are already looking better.

The next step it to make a nice tidy chart of the whole thing. I did it in excel for the last one, which worked out pretty well, so I need to work on that some tonight on my break today (if I take one, blegh). It much easier to copy and paste the repeating elements to figure out what my final row count needs to be than doing it all by hand on graph paper and erasing everything 47 times. Hurray for efficiency!

Madness!

What an insane day, marathon meetings and annoyances pretty much non-stop. Right now I want to curl up someplace warm and cry. But I will remain strong, keep it together for another half hour, and get out of here at 8 and go home and pass out and start again tomorrow even more behind than I am now. Lovely.

The weekend was nice though. Harbin is a great place. Kind of a lot of hippies in not a lot of clothing, but it was peaceful and quiet and relaxing and I got a wonderful massage and feel so much more at peace with the world and with what I'm doing with my life. Hopefully I can hang on to that feeling long enough to get me through the move.

I spent most of the weekend lounging around, soaking in mineral pools, and knitting. I manged to design and start knitting the orenburg shawl for my brothers finance. Hurray! So far, so good. I really love this lace technique. It's so simple yet so elegant! And very easy to memorize. Which is a good thing.

And in even more exciting news, I found an apartment in Virginia! It's a little over 2 miles from campus, 2 bedrooms, 1.5 baths, townhouse that looks out over a nice meadow thing. It's very cute, and I'm very excited. I'm already deciding which rooms need cable and which rooms I can just run wireless from. Very sad geek type behavior, I know, but it's fun.

All I ask...

is for a warm home and someone to buy me a laptop. Why is this so difficult? The financial aid people are lovely, they really are, but would I be asking for a computer loan if I had the wherewithal to buy a computer and then submit a receipt? I don't think so. Someone out there must think I'm cute enough to get a laptop for me. One with wireless, and a big hard drive preferably.

And I won't even press the issue and ask for a car on top of it.

It's been a long day. I was stuck at the office working on a hellish test schedule, and all the engineers went off to do some fun off-site thing. Which wouldn't be so bad really, except that the PM who went with them started hounding me for status reports 15 minutes after I got in and then took off for the happy fun time event before dealing with my problems. feh. It's a gross miscarriage of justice is what it is.

Maybe if I weren't so ticked about the whole stupid laptop situation...

Anyway, I'm taking tomorrow off work to take the kitty to the vet. I need to get her regular check up and get anti-anxiety meds for her for the road trip back east. That should be interesting. After that, I'm going to a hot springs retreat up north of Calistoga for a couple of days to regroup and rest. I'm really excited about this, it'll be nice to just get out of here for a little awhile and be away from all the mad boxes in my house. I'm bringing knitting, a couple of books, a spindle or two, and my iPod. Should be a good time. Who knows, maybe I'll find some naked hippie benefactor who will buy me a laptop!

The cat will not like this

Some pictures of my new cube-mate

Holy crap, I'm tired.

Just flat out exhausted really. It's absurd. I have no idea why I'm this tired, I slept in this morning and took a latter shuttle, figuring that I could use the sleep after staying up past midnight chatting on line with a boy. Hopefully this is just post-lunch coma and I will revive a bit in an hour or so.

The good news is that I only have one more dress project to do for other people before I go. Hurray! It's a somewhat scary one, but once that's finished I free of commissioned sewing for a very very long time. Which is am very very happy about. Having to sew specific things for other people, especially things I find hideous and scary, make the whole sewing thing more of a chore than an enjoyable way to relax.

Anyway, I'm having a terrible time motivating myself to get much done at work at the moment. Apart from the whole sort-timers disease/senioritys I seem to have developed, one of my testers brought in his 2 month old shitzu puppy. This is the cutest little doggies I have ever seen. He looks like a baby ewok. Very distracting, but in a good and cuddly kind of puppy way. this little dog is 1/3rd the size of my cat though, it's kind of ridiculous.

Not much knitting content just now, I've been working on the interminable green lace weight shawl on the shuttle. It seems to not be getting any bigger, but I know this is just an illusion. I want this thing done. The current plan is to bring that and the orenburg to the hot springs this weekend and work on it on a deck someplace while relaxing in between dips in the hot tubs. Once I get going, the knitting is fairly mindless, so it should be a good project for relaxing and being quiet and mellow.

Virginia or bust

The moving plans have shifted in over-drive. I have a month, plus 3 days (I leave July 23rd), before I load up a truck and start driving back east, like some sort of wagon trail or pioneer in reverse. The better part of the weekend was spent packing and sorting and repacking, but I am glad to say that all the nooks and cabinets in my living room have been unloaded and packed, and I have a massive heap of cloths, books, fabrics, and other stuff to get rid of. Hurray! Getting my fabric collection down to 2 25 gallon bins was quite an accomplishment. Now if only I had been able to reduced the yarn and fiber stash some, oh well. At least that will all get put to good use. Knitting and spinning keep me sane, I'm going to need that while in school.

The people I've been talking to to find apartments back there have been so freakishly nice! I don't get it. Of course, the whole world isn't like it is here, but these people have been so genuinely caring and helpful, I'm not quite sure what to do what myself. I have a lead on a good sounding townhouse, and a complex that's trying to find me a one bedroom that will work with my move schedule and budget.

I finished my pink sweater thing from White Lies. The crochet edge was sort of intimidating, and not made any better when I realized the written out pattern was missing a row, and I couldn't decipher the last row on the graphed version. Never mind that it doesn't really flow and ripple down the front like in the picture. Oh well. I figured it out, and it looks really cute. I just need to find something to wear it with. A little black dress or something would be very cute. The whole thing is more cropped in front that I thought it would be, possibly because my boobs are larger than the pattern models (which seems to be the case most of the time), but it should still be ok with jeans and a tank top.

I've made very little progress on the actual charting for the new orenburg shawl project. I do have some ideas, so that's a step in a direction anyway. The theoretical part of the design process always takes me the longest. Once I've worked out what I'm trying to do, it goes pretty fast. So far, I think I'm going to do a double border palatine with an all over design in the middle section. I'll use interlocking hearts and a snowflake pattern for the boarders, and then something open and airy for the middle. I just need to chart out the borders so I know what kind of stitch counts I'm working with in the middle section.

Do I get a lollipop with that?

So, last night at about 5:30 the job offer finally came through. Nothing like timeliness, eh?

A bigger joke I have never seen in my life. Bad enough that they offer me, in real terms, less than I made right out of college, bad enough that I couldn't rent a decent apartment close to work on that sort of salary, but the job title! It's actually offensive. They expect me to take a job as "quality analyst level 1" which amounts to some bone-headed recent graduate who couldn't test a paper bag. Currently, I lead (more like manage) a team on one of the highest priority project going, manage a test case management system used to ensure compliant testing methodology, and train people on what compliant testing methodology means. In the nine months I have been here, I have spearheaded changes that are being felt across the company. I have built testing organizations from the ground up in past jobs. And they think I belong with a pile of useless recent grads? Please. Give me some credit.

The offer is sad. It would have been less sad had they handed me a lollipop to go along with it. It's hardly any wonder they can't find people to work in testing around here, with crap offers like that. Any self respecting, well qualified professional tester would happily take fewer lunches in exchange for an adult salary at a company willing to treat them like the professional adult they are.

Not that I'm pissed off or anything, it's actually very funny.

In some ways, I am actually thankful they came up with such a stunningly bad offer. It made rejecting it very easy, and remarkably guilt free. I am sorry that my teammates are getting screwed by their employer, but there isn't much I can do about that. Not if they are going to make offers like this one.

As far as knitting goes, I accomplished nothing last night so I threw a lace shawl I've been avoiding for months into my work bag and will be carrying that around on the bus to work until I get my pink sweater sewn together. Hopefully I'll get that done this evening, or at least this week.

It's so Pink!

I've decided that my main difficulty with this whole work mess is that they have yet to give me an offer to reject. So I still have this tiny little out if I chicken out on the whole school thing, and I am worried that I'm going to wuss out at the last second. Not good, but at least I'm getting some clarity into my current state of mind. I just want everything to be settled and all the doubt and running around here is not really helping with that.

Anyway, lack of progress as far as this whole work debacle goes aside, I've been managing to get stuff done. A truck has been reserved, my dad has time off to help me move, I'm collecting leads on apartments, and trying to nail down the last bits of financial aid and hopefully get some more so I can pay for a new laptop.

I finished all the knitted parts of my pink sweater on the way in to work this morning, so tonight I will try to sew it together and get going on the crochet bits. I'm very excited about doing this part. Crochet patterns kind of freak me out for some reason, so actually following one should be an interesting challenge. Not that I think it'll be hard. It will just be one of those overcoming mental blocks things.

huh

I've been having a hard time posting the last few days. I try to start, and can't get the words out in any sort of order...

Work never did come through with an actual offer. I am told one is forthcoming, I am told they want to hire me, but I still have no letter. Wednesday came and went, and I have begun to move on. The funny thing is that everyone is now in absolute hysterics. But what am I to do? I have already delayed too long, I cannot delay any more. They have known this was coming for months, and chose not to act until now. And it's just too late.

Somehow I feel lighter. It's a strange thing, but I feel finally free of the hideous weight of this decision. I am free. Free to move on with my life, leave this state, and begin a new and wonderful adventure. But I am so very tired. The last few weeks have been so draining, so much work just to keep myself going. I am deeply and profoundly exhausted.

Dad and I are going to drive across the country at the end of July. I'm actually really looking forward to this. I have not seen much of this country, taking the chance to do it now seems like an exciting thing. It'll me, my dad, and the cat in a bag driving across the country with all my worldly possessions in the back of a truck. And I am excited about this! For all my exhaustion, I have just enough energy left to get excited about this.