A chance in hell?

I love having girlfriends (and metro-sexual guy friends, who are almost the same). I had dinner with A and X last night, and decided to start collecting Things to Say to Boys Who Haven't got a Chance in Hell.

Here is the list so far:

I am so far out of your league...
...if your league were to explode I wouldn't hear the sound for 3 days.
...it would cost you $2 to send me a post card
...you Doppler shift to the infrared
...if you tried to mapquest how to get here, it would to tell you to go fuck yourself
...you'd need oxygen tanks and a Sherpa just to get here
...you are tempting the wrath of God by breathing the same air
...you need a satellite just to communicate with me

My reaction to you is like a noble gas, inert.
Why is it that every time we talk I ponder the merits of defenestration?
Other good excuses

In less light-hearted news, my great-aunt passed away a couple of days ago and I just found out last night. I hate the phrase "passed away." It sounds like something ships do. I wasn't terribly close with her, but my mom is rather upset. Between that and having to preside at an OES funeral service on Saturday...it seems like these things always come in sets, and get progressively closer, so I'm wondering who might be next.

So between being pissed at the Gormless Yotz, work related drama, missing law school application materials, and funerals, I'm not in a very good head space. I really wish I was able to get out of Dodge for at least part of the weekend, but no such luck. Saturday is all booked up, and everyone will be gone and having fun by the time I can leave. Besides which I have sewing to do for other people and I might as well get it done and out of the way.

This morning's commute sucked too. Some guy was getting arrested on MUNI so I nearly missed my shuttle in to work. At least I made it, but only just, and not without a fair amount of anxiety. I think maybe getting a motocycle would be a good idea if I end up keeping this job.

For those of you who have asked, here is a definition of gormless.