Boy is all sick, but we haven't spent any time together in more than 2 weeks. We were supposed to go see HHGTTG with some of my friends on Friday. He totally forgot about this which pisses me off, I have very little to no free time to dick around with and advance planning is the only way I get to see anyone I don't actually work with. But whatever, he's sick, I can get that, but he won't make even half-assed plans for the weekend either. Now one of my friends wants to go to Napa on Saturday, and he's all, "gee, if it means you have to plan I guess you should go or whatever and I'm going to flying anyway maybe." My dad is supposed to come up the next weekend to help me pack and take a bunch of stuff away to store at my parents, and I have to start getting my stuff organized and packed, so I'm pretty much never going to see him again.
Unless it's at work.
The one thing I do not have time for is flaking out on plans, I don't have the luxury of available days to reschedule at the moment. For fuck sake, I got at home at 10 last night, and had to leave again at 7. I don't have free time to do laundry, never mind re-shuffle other plans. I get 2 days a week to have a social life outside work, do housework, and get ready to move. That's it. So I guess maybe that tells me something...either he's clueless about all of this or just not motivated enough to, I don't know, keep track of things? I've been shuffling things around so I can spend time with him when it suits him for the last 2 months. My schedule looks like tetris, it's not that easy to shuffle.
At the same time, he's sick and just got back from a long trip half way around the world, I should give him some slack and not assume that his apparent disinterest in me is anything more than being tired and sick. But I feel like he went out of his way to avoid dealing with me the week before he left, and this isn't helping with the resulting sense of insecurity and marginalization. If he doesn't want to see me anymore, just come out and say it and don't do this stupid passive-aggressive pushing me away but not letting go crap. If he thinks one of both of us are getting too attached given I'm moving to Virgina in 3 months, well, too late buck-o. I've pretty much decided to take what I can get while I can get it, enjoy what time I have left, and refuse to look back with any sort of regret. Why cant he be happy I want to spend that time with him? It's not going to make the inevitable hurt any less to be all weird and distant and cold while refusing to let me go.
Anyway, my weekend plans are now as follows:
Friday night - race back to city from work for HHGTTG thing
Saturday day and eavening - Napa with N.
Sunday day - Laundry, pack, sew 2 comissioned skirts I forgot about
Sunday night - get ready for ass-crack of dawn early Monday commute, more packing and sleep
1 comment:
I was going to call and ask you if you wanted to see HHGTTG this weekend; it seems everyone I know who would enjoy it is either sick or at CC23.
Mind if I tag along?
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