Queen of the Geek People

I'm feeling very stressed out this week. Work is tense and strange, they are pushing things into our production environment without consulting me and the wondering why there are huge bugs in production, the moving plans are looming, and tomorrow promises to be exciting but I'm getting nervous about that too.

And I am waiting for my life to start. It's there, waiting for me to get there, and I'm stuck here wondering. The more time I have to think, the more distance there is between me and the future, the harder it is to not slip into an insane thought spiral and start to panic. I keep chanting “I must not fear, fear is the mind-killer, fear is the little death that brings total obliteration...” like some kind of super-geek but it helps. As someone told me recently, good insight is good insight. I am apparently the Queen of the Geek People, or at the very least some sort of high geek-priestess. Oh well. Whatever helps get you through the day, right?

So the plan for tonight is to work. Lots and lots of work, and some rooting through the basement to get everything ready for good will to pick up in the morning. Tomorrow is the great Wednesday Event, Thursday I am having a nice evening out and going to Cafe Coppola, and Friday I do the last bits of washing up, put tape on the last boxes, sleep on the futon, and then I go.

If I am lucky, I will be able to indulge in some therapeutic knitting tonight. I think I'm going to need it. Or at the very least, I can read some Harry Potter. It's a sad testament to how woefully distracted I have been that I have had this book since Sunday and am only on page 179.