I am trying to be philosophical about school this semester. Grades are important, but they aren't everything. I need to maintain some sort of outside, normal life. This is not easy. Saying that I'm under a lot of stress is sort of life saying the Titanic had a tiny little leak. There are moments, lots of them, when I just want to bury my head in whatever casebook I have in front of me and weep.
But then I find someone on the outside world who seems to appreciate what I'm going through, who respects it, accepts it, and is supportive. Someone who, like my brother, makes me feel like what I'm doing is worthwhile, and more than that, almost heroic. I need more of those kind of people in my life to keep me focused, directed, grounded. People who take an interest and care and won't let me lose myself in this thing I am doing.
I have to simply let go, allow this whole experience to unfold, and not fight against it. Last semester I think I fought too much with myself, with school, with the environment, trying to force everything to fit into some mold I had in my head. It got me nothing really, except exhaustion and frustration, neither of which I need. I must simply do, or do not. It's a very binary sort of thing and there is no use in trying to resist that. Somehow that seems to be helping with my focus and perspective.
No comments:
Post a Comment