Thinking never did anyone any good.
But first, knitting updates. I have finally finished the KnitWhits socks for the shop owner sample. This too far too long, but the pattern turned out to be much more difficult than I thought. 3 color fair-isle is tricky, I kept getting all tangled up. Plus I made a few mistakes, totally my own fault for knitting when sleepy, but it slowed me up. The end result was good though, sadly I mailed them off before taking pictures. Oh well. You can see what they looked like here.
I was feeling like utter crap yesterday so I took the day off and rested and knitted and did stuff around the house. And I thought. A lot. Which was a bad plan.
I realized a couple of things. First, no one has ever told me they needed me. No one. Ever. That was pretty depressing.
Second, it is pointless to figure out what one wants if attaining those things is dependant on the decision making process of other people. Why waste time deciding what jobs I want if my ability to actually get said job is in someone else's hands? Why let myself long for companionship if that companionship is ultimately up to the decision making of another person?
I am not ok with being alone. But what other choice do I really have?
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