Yesterday I got to see my first real snow and my first real client. How it can go from the high 60's on Friday, to over an inch of snow on Saturday, is totally beyond my comprehension but there it is. The cat was not impressed, and driving was a little scary, but the world looked beautiful and soft, and somehow comforting, all covered over in snow. The snow is gone today, but there are chunks of ice and frozen puddles all over.
Had it not been for the legal aid clinic yesterday, I would not have been out in the snow at all. A bunch of lawyers in the area volunteered yesterday morning to take on pro bono work for low income people in the community, and a bunch of law students helped with client intake and basic screening. Actually interviewing a real client, with a real problem, was pretty amazing. We do client interviews at school, but the clients are other students who are roleplaying. These people had real fear in their eyes, real problems, that impacted real lives. I got to sit in on the actual attorney meeting with a couple that I screened, and when they left, they thanked me just as profusely and with just as much gratitude and relief in their eyes as they had when they thanked the attorney.
Hopefully I will get to continue working on this case. These people need help, and as little as I can do for them at this point, I want to do it. They placed their trust in me, a first year law student who knows next to nothing about their problem, and that is a precious and somewhat frightening thing. This is what my life will be, I know that, but I don't think I was really expecting this profound sense of awe when faced with the reality and responsibility of a client who is afraid and yet trusts me enough to hand their problem over to me. It's a very humbling experience.
Of course, I am a little afraid myself. Afraid I will not live up to that trust and responsibility, afraid I will let them down and in so doing make a bad situation worse for people who are already struggling. To be given that kind of power over some one else's life and wellbeing is just plain frightening. But they have faith in me. The attorney who took their case has faith in me and wants my help. My brother, who called me a superhero once, has faith in me. Somehow, reminding myself of that and being reminded of that makes all the difference as I struggle through the day to day process of becoming worthy of that trust.
2 comments:
Yes. that is the awesome thing about being in a helping profession. so often we sneer at the greed we think rules a profession, or laugh at the prosaic tasks involved - but the truth is - modern life is terribly complex and often frightening. We absolutely need those souls who are willing to step up to the plate and help. From doctors and lawyers with their intellectual knowledge, to plumber with their physical skills - it's a rich tapestry woven by the helpers in this world. Pretty wonderful, isn't it!
Congratulations on seeing the heart of your work at last.
Bess, you always know the exact right thing to say to make me feel better. :)
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