A bit low...

My mid-semester panic attack/breakdown seems to have hit with a vengeance. Deciding to move when I did probably didn't help much with all of this, but crap. I can't seem to stay asleep at night or stay awake during the day, and the actual bouts of panic are getting absurd. At least I know what I'm dealing with this time around, that helps a little, but still.

The longer I am out here the more alone and isolated I feel. I really don't have any friends out here, there's no one to call if I need help. And I don't think that's going to really change much any time soon. I mean, how can it, when I will probably be moving away again in a year and a half?

Anyway, the new apartment is very good. The space is really well laid out, and it's easily the nicest apartment I've lived in (which, I admit, isn't saying much, but it is really quite nice). The cat seems to have adjusted and I've got myself almost all unpacked. With any luck I will have some time over fall break to get things settled the rest of the way so I launch into the last half of the semester in fairly good shape, at least as far as my living space is concerned.

The job search has reached a new level of demoralizing, but there's not much point in getting in to that. Suffice it to say, my life is all about rejection and denial right now. I try to find good things...they are just getting to be pretty few and far between. I don't even have the engery to knit.