I have to be packed and send all my worldly goods away with the movers in 10 weeks. In 12 weeks, the cat and I will follow, large duffle bag in tow. I've started packing, sort through things, getting rid of baggage, getting ready to move on.
And I am terrified.
What if I am making a mistake? Not so much about school, but about leaving in general, and leaving one person in particular? How does anyone know what to do about these things? What is there to do anyway? Why are there so many questions, and why can't I find any answers?
Work is a bit nuts. It's getting harder and harder not to talk about what I'm working on. At least I can talk to M. about it, that makes things somewhat easier. I'm training two people right now, which is great. Hopefully one of them will turn out to be good and can take over my job when I leave. I think we might have hit the jack-pot with one of them actually, I'm keeping my fingers crossed anyway. The only problem is that since I spend most of the day training people and answering questions and deflecting meetings, I end up working latter so I can get my actual work done. blegh.
So how do you know if you're in love?
2 comments:
I suppose love comes in lots of forms, but I knew BD was THE one on our first date when I had a vission suddenly. He was standing in front of the car, smiling through the windshield at me as I sat in the passenger seat. Suddenly his face turned into an old man's face! I looked down at my hands and saw old lady's hands - with sunken flesh and brown age spots. And I knew I would be riding around in a car with this man when I was an old lady.
Of course, some might say I am an old lady now. :D it was 33 years ago.
But before he did all that he had made me laugh till tears slid down my cheeks - and had been thrilled that I was successful in our very competitive field, instead of jealous.
It was kinda slow and gradual for me. I was comming out of a very painful part of my life at the time. Hubby however fell head over heels on the first date. He was then so terrified of scaring me off he acted like a nervous 16 year old, afraid to hold my hand and such. It was what I needed at the time.
For me love, beyond caring for the person deeply, is the sense of calm and peace they bring to you just by their presence. No matter how tense and stressed I am his touch can calm me instantly. No matter how much time we spend apart it never seems to die.
Which is also the reason I don't kill the little bugger for not calling since Saturday.
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