PMS sucks

I've completely lost all perspective.

I feel like crap, probably have a UTI again, my back hurts, I'm crampy and bloated and feel like a hippo, it's all cold and crappy and overcast outside but still oddly warm which is just unpleasant, my housemates are driving me crazy, I feel like boy is avoiding/has no time for me, I still can't sleep and it's all ridiculous but I just want to curl up someplace safe and warm and cry but there is no place safe and warm for me curl up in.

Still no offer with numbers, but I was assured that "the recruiter is working on it" whatever the hell that means. Hiring around here is so convoluted and wrapped in mystery, it's amazing anything ever gets done. If they don't get something to me on paper by the end of the week, or maybe early next, I have no choice but to start calling apartments and movers again, but how in the hell am I going to pay for all that? As if I have several grand just lying around at this point. Please. I guess I'll figure something out, I always do, but still.

I got a really sweet card in the mail from one of the women in my OES chapter, telling me how excited she was for me and my new endeavors, and I feel more like crap about that whole mess than I did before. Like I'm letting them all down as well as myself if I stay. What the hell is that about? Waiting a year is not giving up, in some ways it's being pragmatic about things. Why am I so plagued by self-doubt?!

Stupid PMS.