Monday, March 14, 2005

oh my...

Friday night I got home from to work to find a large envelope from from my first choice law school stuck in the mail slot. I treated it rather like an unexploded bomb, before I decided it was probably some financial aid package stuff, and opened it.

I got in. Eep! I got in to the William and Mary School of Law. This is a very good school, top tier, and has one the best Constitutional law program in the country. I've wanted to attend this college since I was in junior high.

Clearly, this is the offer I should accept. It's a big move, it's far away from everything I know, but that's half the point. I've spent my whole life within 10 miles of the Pacific. It's time to open my eyes, experience something different, and take a chance. Being ready to make the decision to leave is a very different thing than actually making the decision though, and I now find myself hesitating.

My focus for the last six months has been on resolving things, cleaning house emotionally, and freeing myself of unnecessary ties. I was doing well with this, but in the last month or so, this has gotten a lot harder. So now what? Do I doom this new thing just as it's starting to get interesting? Or let it be, go, and hope for the best? I was supposed to be freeing myself from heartbreak, not chasing after it. My head and my heart want two different and totally incompatible things. How am I supposed to decide this now? When I have so little time, and so much is as stake?

1 comment:

Kendra said...

It's a really tough call, but I think you should go for the best school. Aside from Boy, it sounds to me like you're ready for something new -- plus it's a really good school.