But what is normal anyway?

I've finally finished the first sleeve for my wool version of the Rowan Hope sweater! I'm so very glad to have this over with. Last night I decided to just sit and drink tea and knit while I watched Sex in the City and that Gillian's Island show (embarrassing, but it's like watching a train wreck, you can't drag yourself away). It turns out that I had made a mistake in reading the (rather poorly written and cryptic) sleeve directions so I had to rip back some but it wasn't too much, and I got the sleeve done this morning on the way in to work. If the light holds out I should be able to at least cast on the second sleeve tonight on the way home. Maybe I'll get this thing done before Christmas after all!

Things are moving along nicely with the law school applications too. I have all but one of them filled out, and all of the ones with waived fees went out in todays mail. I don't feel that great about my essays, but at this point I just don't care anymore. It's impossible to say anything really meaningful in 500 words or less. For some stupid reason Boston College wants to know what my high school class rank was. I have no idea why. Tracking this down is going to be a huge pain in the butt. It's been years, I don't have my transcript anymore, and the school has probably put it in deep-freeze by now. Oh well. It seems like most of the application process is duplicating what's already on the LDAS report, which I don't get at all, but oh well. I'll get the rest of these things sent out next week and the whole thing will be totally out of my hands.

It's the lack of control part of this whole process that I'm having the most trouble with. I already doubt my own ability to be competitive, knowing that there is not one little thing I can do to influence the admissions people one way or another once I've got these things sent out is just unbearable. I just have to keep telling myself I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it someone will like me. It's a statistical impossibility to do as well as I did on the LSAT and not get in anywhere. Ok, my undergrad GPA could have been better, my essay could be more moving, I could have done more volunteer work (they don't give you enough space to write about that at all either), but I've done my best and my records will just have to speak for themselves. Ack.