Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Iron Goddess Grade 1

When I was last working near China Town, I stocked up on some wonderful teas from the Yau Hing tea company (now called Red Blossom Tea). Every time I go in there, I end up walking away with a half dozen little packets of wonderful teas with names like "Iron Goddess of Mercy" and "Phoenix Eye." The Iron Goddess tea in particular has been very appealing this week, as if I can somehow drink in the attributes of an Iron Goddess of Mercy through the tea.

My schedule for this week has gotten a bit out of hand. Tonight I am supposed to be at 3 different events, but will probably not end up at any of them as I have to get gingerbread mix for the OES meeting on Friday and make some alterations to a black jacket I will be using for a mourning costume on Saturday morning. As it turns out, I haven't got enough of the black duchess satin left over from the Madame X dress to do my mourning dress (or time to make it), so I'll be making do with the parts I have available and starting to shop for suitable fabric after fair ends. Wednesday I have to bake gingerbread, Thursday I have a semi-date thing, and Friday is an OES meeting which will be the first I will preside at as Worthy Matron (and which I am also chairing, I'm insane). After the meeting, a couple of friends are coming over to crash for the weekend since I live so close to the Dickens site, so I have to do a bit of cleaning up and preparation work for that, and also pack myself up for closing weekend. Ack.

Last night was relatively peaceful actually, which was nice. I decorated my Christmas tree, which I have to admit looks more like a misshapen shrub than a proper tree, but it's a pine tree, it's still alive, and I like it. I also got the few Christmas presents that I actually have purchased wrapped up and stuck under the tree. This weekend, if the check for the SASS dress shows up, I will be able to finish up most of my holiday shopping at Dickens. What I can't get there I will either knit in a hurry or buy sometime next week. I can hit the mall after work if I need to and get whatever else I'm going to need to get. I wish I had half a clue what to get for my brother. He's always a bit of a challenge. Although, he did mentioned something about wanting to learn how to home brew, so if I can find a reasonable start-up brewing kit that would be a good gift.

My mental/emotional state is pretty good. sitting at home alone last night was a bit rough, but I managed to get through it without bursting into tears. I think I was far more prepared for this that I wanted to admit to myself. It's ok to be sad and a bit lonely, and it's probably all for the best anyway. What I really need to do right now is shed myself of as much unnecessary baggage, emotional and physical, as I can before I head off to law school and start over. And I have to allow myself to mourn for those things I must leave behind.

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